Walk My Walk

Dear Random Stranger,

Thank you so much for your advice today. It was so kind of you to stop me in the carpark as I was juggling child, baby and bags. Number One was anxious, we were running late.

She doesn’t like to be late, and by late I mean that anything less than ten minutes early simply isn’t acceptable. I know her jacket was open, I know it was cold. I know a good mum, would have stopped, checked, waited until she fastened it. Sometimes I need to pick my battles. Sometimes I can’t fight them all.

Thank you also for checking when we went on holiday that she eats something other than pizza. Thank you for offering to get her some vegetables. Thank you for suggesting I widen her diet.

A good mum wouldn’t let her child eat pizza every day for a week. Pizza day is Friday. Good mums would only allow pizza once a week. Sometimes I need to prioritise. New places are hard. Busy places are hard. Sometimes I need to realise it’s costing her a lot just to be in the room, sometimes I need to give a little, bend a little, allow things I might not otherwise do.

It was so kind of you to tell me that it wasn’t safe to put Number Two in his car seat in the front of my car. It was raining, the children were cold as we stood outside the car whilst you gave us your statistics. But I understand it was important for you to share this information.

A good mum wouldn’t allow it, even if she did have her air bag disabled. A good mum would put him in the back. A good mum would want him to be safe. I know that. Right now his reflux is bad. On some days that means he chokes on the acid coming up from his mouth. It scares him. I want him next to me so I can reassure him he’ll be ok. I want him next to me so I can concentrate on my driving. I want him next to me so we all arrive safely to our destination.

Thank you also so much for your concern at the park that I was checking my phone whilst my baby was looking for my attention. A good mum wouldn’t do that. A good mum would be looking at her baby, enjoying his smile.

Some days I check my phone too much, some days I look at my laptop while my baby is awake. I do it not because I want less time with him but because I ¬†want more. I do it because I’m trying to work from home. I don’t want him to spend his time with strangers, I want to be by his side. I want to find a way of being with him as long as I can. I want to be able to collect his sister from school. I want to be the one to hear his first word.

So dear stranger, before you judge please stand awhile and think. Do I know this family? Do I know their path? Have I walked their walk, have I worn their shoes?

Please, for me, stand stand awhile and think, is this just a mum doing her best, albeit in a way which doesn’t quite fit.

I hope you do, I hope you will. I’m human you know and so are you.

Love Always

Mummy Times Two

The Pramshed
Quite Frankly She Said Sunday Best
Dear Bear and Beany
Follow:

22 Comments

  1. November 19, 2016 / 9:33 am

    This is brilliant and so relatable! I still struggle to comprehend what it is that makes strangers think they have the right to tell us how to parent!

  2. November 19, 2016 / 9:52 am

    I think all mums can relate to this! The amount of interference and unwelcome opinions that are imparted under the guise of ‘helpful advice’ is phenomenal! Advice is asked for, if someone hasn’t asked then it shouldn’t be given. I think you’re a very good mum just for addressing this in your post and being honest and upfront about your choices.. although by no means should you have to defend yourself anyway. Random strangers can keep their beaks out! Xx

  3. Beth
    November 19, 2016 / 8:27 pm

    Why can’t people just mind their own business?? My favourite was a checkout woman telling my my baby didn’t look big enough to be in a sitting up trolley! She managed perfectly well and it was better than her trying to sit up in a lying down one!!

    • November 19, 2016 / 8:29 pm

      They definitely seem to appear a lot in the supermarket. Shopping trolleys are a no win situation I fear. One day maybe they will spontaneously combust!

  4. November 22, 2016 / 1:28 pm

    How frustrating. I don’t mean to stereotype too but it’s normally old people that stick their two penny in. I carry my son in a sling most of the time. In the early days someone was kind enough to tell me a friend of a friend had tripped and killed their baby while carrying, I told them I could be pushing my buggy along and a car could plough into it. It shut them up but I walked away and cried!

    Anyway a long time ago and I have yet to fall over while carrying! lol. Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofblog

    • Mummy Times Two
      January 4, 2017 / 10:19 am

      That is very true x

  5. November 24, 2016 / 6:38 am

    Everyone has an opinion on other people’s parenting skills don’t they. It’s horrible to judge without actually walking in their shoes! Fab post xx #SharingTheBlogLove xx

  6. upasna1987
    November 24, 2016 / 12:13 pm

    Simple awesome. I too had written about the unsolicited advises we Mothers get. Its annoying but the way you have written can put these strangers to shame. I hope.here through #familyfun

  7. Lucy At Home
    November 24, 2016 / 1:53 pm

    What a fab post! I had a lady stop me in the street the other day because I wasn’t holding hands with my daughter as we walked down the pavement.

    What she failed to think about was that I was busy pushing a pram, carrying a book bag, water bottle, and P.E. kit, my daughter is almost 6 so I’m giving her some independence, she’s very sensible and was walking next to me very calmly, and…oh yes it’s nothing to do with her!! I was so annoyed.

    It’s so important not to judge – we have no idea what else is going on in the background. Love this post! #SharingTheBlogLove

    • November 24, 2016 / 4:00 pm

      Thanks so much. I agree! So hard at times to please people, especially when they don’t see everything. It sounds like you were doing exactly the right thing to me x

  8. November 24, 2016 / 4:36 pm

    It’s amazes me how people think it’s ok to judge people. One of the biggest learnings for me as a parent is to pick my battles and other things have come with confidence in my own ability that I know my children better than anyone. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove X

    • November 24, 2016 / 6:25 pm

      That’s such a fantastic attitude to have, thank you for having me x

  9. November 24, 2016 / 8:27 pm

    It’s staggering how everyone has an opinion on other people’s parenting, isn’t it? I definitely make choices every day that aren’t necessarily what ‘the perfect parent’ would choose, but like you, I pick my battles and some days some things just aren’t worth going into battle over. We know our children best and we have to trust that our decisions are the right ones at that time. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • November 25, 2016 / 9:04 am

      It certainly is, thanks so much for taking the time to comment on my post x

  10. November 25, 2016 / 5:46 pm

    Oh I feel you! Why is it so important for people to give advice when it is not needed! Fuck sake!
    I’ve been told that ben has a tummy bug and an ear infection (no he’s just been teething forever) but as this is my first I clearly don’t know anything about my child. He is also miserable when I’m not around and when explained that he is used to me and him alone so of course it’s weird so he may not be full of the joys of springs I get looks of “no he is just a miserable child – he is actually anything but and is always excited about everything)
    I wish we could punch people as they start with the unnecessary comments! #sharingthebloglove

    • November 25, 2016 / 9:10 pm

      Bless you. Sometimes I think people are best ignored. I smile sweetly then inwardly seethe. X

    • Mummy Times Two
      January 4, 2017 / 10:17 am

      Thank you x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *