I Hate You Google

Google I Hate You

This week has reminded me why I started my blog.

It has reminded me of the agony of not knowing, of an uncertain future, of wanting clarity.

When your child is ill, or struggling in some way, you want answers. You want to know what the problem is. You want to find a way of helping them.

The reality is though, that wheels turn slowly. Monitoring is involved. Data is needed. Experts want to be sure.

And I’m glad about that.

I’m glad people aren’t rushing in doing unnecessary tests. I’m glad they are making reassuring noises. And I’m glad they are still able to be rational.

Or at least my rational self is.

Unfortunately though right now, I do not feel rational. Every ounce of my being is screaming in fear.

I know he will probably be ok. I know we are hoping that everything we are seeing now is just caused by a virus.

But no one can tell us for sure.

And what if it isn’t?

What if it’s more.

You see to counteract those rational voices, there is Google.

And Google is scary.

Google is really scary.

For every story of hope, there are ten more of fear.

Google is full of things I do not want to know. It is full of things I do not want to read.

And yet I read them still.

Because I need answers. And in the dead of night it is Google them tempts me in, with its lure of answers, its promises of truth.

And I am reminded of other times I’ve turned to her, the temptress on my phone.

Of the pain she caused.

Of why I blog.

So that in the dead of night another mum will find solidarity rather than fear. So that another mum will be saved. In the hope that rationality will be restored, for me and for her.

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18 Comments

  1. Reply

    Becci - The UnNatural Mother

    March 5, 2017

    Oh Victoria , put down your phone. No good can come of it. I have been there , wanting answer but they cant be found. He will get better and they will find the cause , you just have to trust in the universe. Lots of positive energy coming your way 🙂

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      March 9, 2017

      Thank you x

  2. Reply

    Wendy

    March 6, 2017

    Sending you lots of love and hugs. Google is a dangerous place, I have spent so much time googling symptoms when my children have been ill and Google never had anything reassuring to say. I think that’s why honest blogs are so important, they can show worried parents the truth and offer comfort instead of fear when they are searching for answers xx #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      March 9, 2017

      Thank you so much, you are right x

  3. Reply

    Intrepid bebe

    March 6, 2017

    Doctor Google has a lot to answer for! #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      March 9, 2017

      He certainly does x

  4. Reply

    Samantha Buckley

    March 6, 2017

    I have unfortunately done the same thing, being a new first time mum I googled absolutely anything! I am sometimes amazing how much conflicting information there is which can easily scare and confuse people xx #PostsFromTheHeart

    http://www.bespokebuckley.com

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      March 9, 2017

      There really is x

  5. Reply

    Rainbows are too beautiful

    March 6, 2017

    I hear you. But I try not to as well. thanks goodness we are all on here! #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      March 9, 2017

      Exactly, making google kinder, one blog at a time x

  6. Reply

    Crummy Mummy

    March 6, 2017

    The absolute worst thing you can do is turn to Google! Don’t do it!! #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      March 9, 2017

      That is very good advice x

  7. Reply

    Ruth Drake

    March 6, 2017

    Totally agree! I feel like I could have written this it is so close to my feelings and why I started blogging. Thanks so much for sharing! #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      March 9, 2017

      Thank you so much for reading x

  8. Reply

    five little doves

    March 7, 2017

    SO much love to you, Google is not our friend, although I am so guilty of doing the same. Big hugs lovely lady. #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      March 9, 2017

      Thank you so much x

  9. Reply

    Laura - Autumn's Mummy

    March 8, 2017

    I try not to google any symptoms or things anymore, it just makes my worry about what’s going on even greater. It’s not worth it. #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      March 9, 2017

      You are of course totally right x

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