I’m Sorry: I Should Have Found A Way

As a teacher many children have come and gone through my various classrooms over the last fifteen years.

They are, for the year they are yours, a huge part of your life – and you theirs. Then at the end of the year, they move on to new challenges. And you are left with a new set of faces to learn about and discover.

There are some children though that even though the years have passed, you never forget. Children you wonder about, long after they are fully grown adults.

In my case, the children I think about the most are almost always the most vulnerable ones.

First are the children that I developed a connection with, where other teachers had struggled. Children who learnt how to learn in my classroom. Children that I hope went on to do that with many more teachers after me.

They are the easy ones, the group I think about with pleasure.

A smile here, I smile there as I remember little break throughs we had through the year, light bulb moments of recognition. Not only for them, but also for me, as I learnt about them, their needs and how to enable them to become effective learners.

The other group though, they are the ones I worry about, even now.

And they are the children I didn’t manage to reach, the ones that I let down by not understanding what they needed to succeed.

They are the ones that play on my mind. The ones that left my room no more ready to learn that when they came to me.

Many will now be adults, some will no doubt have children of their own.

I hope that for them, after me, came other teachers. Teachers more experienced and skilled, teachers who found a way to reach them. Teachers who found a way to show them that they too could learn.

I hope above all that both groups are happy.

But I also hope that if the second (thankfully small, but one would be too many) group remember me, they do so kindly.

I hope they forgive my failings. But most of all I hope they know I tried. I hope they know that I lay awake at night, thinking of new strategies. I hope they know that I didn’t give up on them. Either when they were in my class or when they left it.

I hope they know that I always believed they could learn.

I hope they know that I never blamed them.

Because as their teacher, it was me that should have found a way.

 

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55 Comments

  1. Reply

    Angela Milnes

    August 7, 2017

    An interesting post. I have experienced this with younger children as a teacher and have had similar feelings. We do our best and hope they go on to become amazing!

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 7, 2017

      Some children really do stay with you for a very long time don’t they? X

  2. Reply

    Sarah Bailey

    August 7, 2017

    It sounds like you are an amazing teacher and I can only imagine how it is to wonder what happened year after year to the ones that touch your heart.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 7, 2017

      Thank you, that is very kind of you x

  3. Reply

    Jenni

    August 7, 2017

    This is a very touching post. You did the best you could and I’m sure the children and their parents appreciated everything you did! You obviously care about the children in your care and do your utmost best to support them! You should feel proud that you made a difference in their lives

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 7, 2017

      Thank you, you’re very kind. I’m not sure you ever lose that feeling of wanting to do more though x

  4. Reply

    Stephanie Cummings

    August 7, 2017

    All you can do is do your best and the rest is down to them. You sound like an amazing teacher and it’s nice to see this from your perspective

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      That’s very kind of you to say x

  5. Reply

    five little doves

    August 7, 2017

    Ahh you sound like the most amazing teacher and it’s lovely that you care as much as you do. You have done a wonderful job!

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      You are very kind. I think it’s the kind of job that always makes you want to do more x

  6. Reply

    Ana De- Jesus

    August 8, 2017

    Ah its not your fault, sometimes kids are hard to reach. I know with me I was in the SEN unit until I was 16 and that was largely due to dealing with trauma from child abuse which affected the way my mind worked. I found it hard to understand things and did not like having assistants. But when I came off the programme I realized that although I was so independent it did help me like you helped others too x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      Thank you so much for sharing your story, you really are such an incredibly kind lady x

  7. Reply

    Journa Ramirez

    August 8, 2017

    This is so uplifting. Teachers are so precious.. and I’m proud to say that my parents teachers. My dad taught in a public school here in our place for 33years.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      Thank you, that’s kind of you to say x

  8. Reply

    Gareth Torrance

    August 8, 2017

    As someone who worked as a teacher for a couple of years, I can see exactly where you are coming from with this… And I always have worried thoughts about the students that I had who were… Let’s say… vulnerable…

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      They really do stay in your mind for a long time don’t they?

  9. Reply

    Dannii

    August 8, 2017

    I guess being a teacher you never switch off. You are always going to think about the kids you taught, especially the ones you had a connection with.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      Exactly, they stay in your mind long after you taught them x

  10. Reply

    Fatima

    August 8, 2017

    I’ve also taught at a school for a year and with that I realised how much patience the job requires but also agree, that it’s the teacher’s duty to give confidence and motivation to the children for whom the opinion of the teacher is really important.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      It really is. That’s just how I see it x

  11. Reply

    Louise Smith

    August 8, 2017

    I always wanted to be a teacher as a child, but it’s something I never went on to do because I would have gotten way too attached to the kids in my class. I don’t know how you do it. It must be so rewarding yet heartbreaking at the same time.

    Louise x

  12. Reply

    Ashleigh

    August 8, 2017

    I think it must be so rewarding to be a teacher. I’d love it to do some day!

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      It is the best job in the world x

  13. Reply

    Rhian Westbury

    August 8, 2017

    I’m sure you connected with more kids than you realise when you were teaching x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      I’m not sure it’s about numbers. I guess for me – even one – I didn’t reach would be too many. X

  14. Reply

    Stephanie Merry

    August 8, 2017

    This is so touching and shows just what an amazing and caring teacher you must be x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      That’s very kind of you to say x

  15. Reply

    shelley

    August 8, 2017

    This is a very interesting post; loved reading it. I have always been a very ‘closed book’, I would probably be one of those kids that would be hard to reach simply because I don’t like to talk about my emotional or personal issues. Must be hard for a teacher though especially if they want to help xoxo

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      Sending love to you. I think as a teacher you always want to make as much difference as you can x

  16. Reply

    Ali Rost

    August 8, 2017

    During my early middle school years, our family went through a terribly tough time. We eventually moved a couple hours away so my parents could go back to school. There was a teacher who I always loved and was terribly sad to leave. I couldn’t believe it when she reached out a few months after we’d moved, asked if she could come visit and take me out for lunch. I’ve never forgotten her kindness. x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      That is such a lovely story, thank you so much for sharing it x

  17. Reply

    Dena

    August 8, 2017

    I bet it’s really rewarding being a teacher isn’t it? I’m sure you really touched their lives, probably more than you will ever know x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 8, 2017

      I hope so. It really is the best job in the world x

  18. Reply

    Helen McWilliams

    August 8, 2017

    I really felt for you when I read this post as failings are so common place in every walk of life. It’s good to identify them. I’m sure you do a wonderful job though! #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 9, 2017

      Thanks so much. I think teaching is one of those jobs where you always want to give more x

  19. Reply

    Patrick

    August 8, 2017

    That was a beautiful post,Victoria…..but I really believe a student has to want to learn. By the middle grades,they are smart enough to be aware that teachers host 5-6 classes a day. They know that teachers are often overwhelmed. To expect your teacher is going to hold your hand isn’t realistic,they have to pull their own weight. Thank you for working so hard as a teacher…

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 9, 2017

      That’s very kind of you to say. I think as a teacher you just always want to give more x

  20. Reply

    Baby Isabella

    August 8, 2017

    I’m sure in all your years of teaching you have reached more children than you will ever know in ways you wouldn’t have thought possible. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You sound like a great teacher x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 9, 2017

      That’s kind of you to say x

  21. Reply

    Emma Raphael

    August 9, 2017

    When we lived in Munich I worked as a TA in my children’s international school for a while. It hadn’t really occurred to me how much of a parent you are to the children in your care, what a difference you can make to so many children, and how heartbreaking it is saying goodbye to them at the end of the year. I am sure those children think about you too you know, even the ones you think you didn’t quite reach! 🙂 x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 9, 2017

      You’ve summed it up perfectly, you become so close to them when you are with them all day x

  22. Reply

    Stephanie Usher

    August 9, 2017

    I always get the impression that you are such an amazing teacher, I’m sure you’ve touched so many hearts! xx

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 9, 2017

      That is very kind of you to say x

  23. Reply

    Becca Talbot

    August 9, 2017

    I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself – you haven’t let the kids down, so it’s wrong to think in that way. I’m sure that whatever life throws at them, they’ll always remember their teachers – I know I remember all of mine, and the little lessons they taught me x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 9, 2017

      That’s a lovely thing to say x

  24. Reply

    Anosa

    August 9, 2017

    I think that since they are still on your mind even now you probably did more for them than you realised. I think you’re an awesome teacher.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 9, 2017

      That’s very kind of you to say. I think the reality of teaching is you always want to do more x

  25. Reply

    Madeeha

    August 9, 2017

    I consider every that teacher a successful teacher who reflect back on their performance, no matter how many people they have satisfied or didn’t any. Because any one who reflect back, actually give their 100%. You must be an amazing teacher. I am sure your students will feel the same about you.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 9, 2017

      That is very kind of you to say x

  26. Reply

    Emily Leary

    August 10, 2017

    This is such a lovely post, I think the teachers that worry about these things – and stay driven to do better even after so many years – are the ones that kids are the most grateful to have when they look back.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 11, 2017

      Bless you, that’s very kind of you to say x

  27. Reply

    Karen

    August 10, 2017

    Should great post were currently trying to get the eldest diagnosed with ADHD/Autism or maybe both. Hopefully we’ll get somewhere she has an appointment in September. I’m definitely going to look through this Autism section of your blog though might be some helpful stuff

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 11, 2017

      Please do shout if I can ever be of help x

  28. Reply

    Lucie Aiston

    August 12, 2017

    Awww this post. Hats off to you firstly for doing the job you do. Hats off for wanting to learn about the children who had the additional needs. My son experienced so many teachers who just didn’t give a toss. Now he is in a special needs setting where the teachers really do care and it has made the world of difference. Thank you from a mum who appreciates a teacher who truly cares. Xx

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 13, 2017

      Thank you so much, that really is very kind of you to say x

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