I Need You To Hold Me To This…

I have never made an effort with my appearance.

As a teenager I bypassed make-up and parties in favour of books and exams. I was a girl on a mission and in my single minded brain everything else was a waste of time.

As the years passed, I became absorbed with University and later teaching. There was always work to be done. I threw myself into it with gusto. And enjoyed every minute.

I didn’t experiment with hair and make-up at a time when others were doing so, at a time when I could have learnt how to do it successfully with the support of friends on a similar journey.

I have always enjoyed work. It is predictable and I am good at it. I know that working hard brings results and I strive to be the best I can. As usual I hid behind it, it formed my excuse for not making an effort with things I found more challenging.

I make vague efforts with a pair of 20 year old straighteners and a lipstick that is almost as old on the rare occasions when I decide that I really do need to make an effort. But on the whole my face is bare, and my hair is washed and left to dry with no more than a brush run through it.

I justify to myself that I am busy, that work needs to be done, that there are things I need to do with the children.

But the reality is, there is always time if we make it. And if I’m honest I know that if I wanted to carve out a little more time for me, I could do it.

Except the truth is I really don’t have a clue. And maybe it is time I did.

Maybe as a 36 year old mum of two, one of whom a daughter who is growing up fast, it is time to stop hiding behind me the mum and me the teacher.

Maybe it is time to find out who I am as a woman. To experiment a little with make-up; even if it does make me look a little like a clown at first. To visit a hairdresser more often than once a year. And to have pride in who I am.

It’s time I found a style that is mine. It’s time for me to look in the mirror and figure out who I want to be. To put a little of the work ethic I put into the rest of my life, into making me the me I want to be.

Except of course, I know I’m lazy and it would be easy for me to chicken out of this one. Which is why I’m telling you.

After all, if it’s in writing I have to do it, right? I’m committed.

And if I bottle it, you have my full permission to kick me up the bum!

I’m done with hiding.

After all, I have a daughter. And as much as I want her to be intelligent and kind, and all of the wonderful things she already is.

I want her to know it’s ok to make time for herself too.

Because she deserves it.

We all do x

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29 Comments

  1. Reply

    Sarah Ann

    August 12, 2017

    Such a lovely, honest post and one I can relate to. I don’t always make time to do my hair or make up the way I want them, never mind having a pamper routine. I don’t have children, but after going through my transplant recovery, I’ve learned that I should make more time for myself and spoil myself a little bit because when I do, I feel great.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 13, 2017

      Bless you, after going through so much I think you definitely deserve it x

  2. Reply

    Jenni

    August 12, 2017

    It’s important to make time for ourselves but easier said than done. I used to play with make up a little but loved playing with nail and hair colours. Now I’m a Mum I don’t do any

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 13, 2017

      So true, little ones definitely take up our time x

  3. Reply

    Stephanie Cummings

    August 12, 2017

    Another very honest post, you need to make sure you’re making time for yourself and I love your nail colour x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 13, 2017

      Aww thank you, that’s very kind of you to say x

  4. Reply

    Kacie

    August 13, 2017

    I don’t make much effort with my appearance but I also feel better once I’ve put some slap on 🙂

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 13, 2017

      That is exactly it, it’s about how I feel about me x

  5. Reply

    Rhian Westbury

    August 13, 2017

    A very honest post, I think as long as you’re happy with how you look you don’t need to start using makeup just because you feel you should x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 13, 2017

      I think it’s more that I would like to know how to use it properly, so that on the days I feel like it I can use it confidently x

  6. Reply

    Becca Talbot

    August 13, 2017

    TBH, I don’t make much effort on my appearance unless I’m a) going “out” out, or b) having an important meeting at work. I think it’s fine not to wear make up and do your hair etc etc, if that’s how you feel comfortable 🙂 x

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 13, 2017

      Bless you. I agree with you, and I know I won’t do it every day. I guess I would just like to feel I can do it confidently when I choose to x

  7. Reply

    LaaLaa

    August 14, 2017

    Very honest, I don’t have children myself but I could imagine that that sometimes finding that extra time becomes minimal but self care is hugely important. Even if sparing that extra 30 mins in the morning or doing your nails before bed. Get some multi use makeup products so you don’t feel overwhelmed even if you could one day go to a counter and get advice and a mini makeover. X

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 15, 2017

      Aww thank you, that’s exactly what I’m thinking about doing x

  8. Reply

    daydreams of a mum

    August 14, 2017

    I love this post and can so relate!!
    I do make the effort,or try to at least but I am totally clueless.Like you whilst everyone else was experimenting I was stuck with my head in a book!!! I seem to have had the same hair and make up for the past 20 years!!! Must watch some of those YouTube videos!! You’re right though…now you’ve written it down you must do it!!!#postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 15, 2017

      One day we will both figure it out. I’m hoping in the meantime experimenting will be fun x

  9. Reply

    Hayley Warren

    August 14, 2017

    It’s definitely important to make time for yourself, even if it’s just to wash and blow dry your hair or paint your nails!

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 15, 2017

      I am definitely starting to learn that x

  10. Reply

    MELANIE EDJOURIAN

    August 14, 2017

    As mums we do tend to neglect ourselves. We put our children ahead of ourselves but we do need to squeeze a little me time each week for our own sanity.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 15, 2017

      I am definitely starting to agree x

  11. Reply

    five little doves

    August 14, 2017

    I love this and I completely relate! I rarely find the time to wash my hair, let alone style it! I never do my nails, rarely wear make up, and I wear whatever is clean from the ironing pile each day. I’m going to try harder too. #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 15, 2017

      We can have a dual mission x

  12. Reply

    kristal

    August 15, 2017

    I think it is so important to pamper yourself and give something to do. I love mask and painting my nails.

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 15, 2017

      I am definitely starting to agree with you x

  13. Reply

    Natasha

    August 15, 2017

    I can definitely relate to this. My mum has never worn makeup so growing up hair and makeup weren’t a priority and I didn’t have a clue where to start. Now at 36, I think I’ve found my style and I like to make the effort with a little makeup and straightening my (pink!) hair. I don’t have a skincare routine and of course I have lazy days too. As long as you’re comfortable and happy that’s all that matters. Though do try to make some time for yourself. (Wish I could practise what I preach!)
    #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 16, 2017

      I love this, yes you are totally right and I think that’s probably part of the reason it isn’t a probity for me either x

  14. Reply

    Wendy

    August 20, 2017

    I never bothered with make up when I was younger..I’m 26 now and starting to wear it but I feel clueless half he time. You are so right though, we do all need to make time for ourselves..life is not all about work xx #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply

      Mummy Times Two

      August 20, 2017

      So very true x

  15. Reply

    Crummy Mummy

    August 21, 2017

    I never used to step outside the house without make up on, now it’s rare if I step outside the house with it on! #postsfromtheheart

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