Hobson’s Choice – A Reflux Story

I (like my daughter I suppose), do not deal well in grey. I deal in black and white, right or wrong. Given a choice I prefer my decisions, like my life to be straightforward ones.

Especially when it comes to the children.

Unfortunately Reflux, and indeed life rarely works that way. There are a multitude of greys to be navigated. And like all parents everywhere, navigate them we do.

Today has been one of those days.

After spending five days off his reflux meds in preparation for tests, we got to the hospital today to be told that Number Two’s high temperature meant they couldn’t go ahead. A week of pain and a ten hour round trip later, and no nearer to having any of the answers, we are now on our way home.

On our way home with Hobson’s Choice to make. Do we return for the tests, and if so when? Or do we take what we have learnt from a week off the meds and make a plan based on that. Try a new medication regime, and have tests only much later if that doesn’t work.

It is, as we were told today, an elective procedure. Technically the choice is ours.

Either way is right. Either way is also wrong.

Another week off the medication, means another week of total food refusal, more negative associations with foods. It means dehydration as he’ll refuse to drink during the day. It means, coughing and choking and bringing up acid. Of course, it means another ten hour round trip, which could easily lead to as few answers of this one. But more than anything it means pain.

But it could also bring answers, solutions, a plan which works. It would give us a scientific base from which to assess our options and plan the future. We will know what is anatomical, what is allergy related, what is acid related and what is behaviour- or at least that is the theory.

I guess in reality the odds right now seem against us, it feels as though whatever we do we are destined not to get the answers.

But that I know is just today speaking.

Tomorrow is a new day. And as always a new day will bring new hope.

The procedures will be scheduled and we’ll once again prepare for them and hope.

And I will pray that we have made the right Hobson’s choice, not the wrong one. Whatever that may be.

Reflux At One Year – An Update

Next week is Number Two’s first birthday. If you had told me when I wrote my first reflux post, I would still be writing about reflux at one year I wouldn’t have believed you. We were promised after all that by nine months it would be gone.

This week I should be at home, baking him a cake, buying decorations and wrapping presents.

It should be a time of joy and celebration. And of course on the day it will be that way. We will ensure it is, no matter what. He is our much loved, forever wanted little boy.

Not a day goes by that I am not grateful that we have him.

Today though, those birthday celebrations seem a million miles away. As I write this we are in the car, on route from our home in North Yorkshire to London for tests. A PH study, and Endoscopy and further blood tests. The puzzle pieces the doctors need to try to work out a plan to help him.

It hasn’t been a good week.

The iron medication he’s taking to combat the anaemia is giving him diarrhoea, he’s losing fluids and in pain, and each day it seems more frequent. He’s been off his reflux medication for five days in preparation for the tests, and it’s made me realise just how much difference they make. And as if that wasn’t enough for one small boy, on Sunday night the high temperatures began again – putting this week’s procedures in jeopardy.

Hopefully after this trip we will have more answers. Hopefully, that is if we can keep his temperature down.

Maybe this is the beginning of the end of our reflux journey. I have to hope.

Maybe this is the week we finally work out how to help him.

After all, that would be the very best birthday present of all.

Posts From The Heart 27th March

Hello and welcome to Posts From The Heart, hosted by myself and fellow blogger Becci over at The UnNatural Mother.

We love to read blogs about things that matter to people; whether it’s something your child did that meant a lot or a political event on the world stage, from the smallest of details to the grandest of hopes, if what we write about means something to us its light shines bright.

We wanted to create a Linky to showcase those posts, to make sure that those posts which mean the most to us are seen and read, and this is the result of that dream.

Whether you’re here to link up, or here because you like us you love to find out what people care about, welcome and thank you for joining us.

Each week, we’ll read, comment and StumbleUpon each post as well as each choosing our three favourites to highlight the following week.

Our Rules

  • You may link up a maximum of two posts, old or new, as long as they are about things which matter to you.
  • Please comment on at least one of the highlighted posts.
  • Please comment on any four new posts which you feel relate to you. There’s no obligation to comment on ours, they are no more important than any of the other posts people have linked up.
  • Please use #PostsFromTheHeart in your comments, that way people know where you have found their post.
  • Please add our badge, if you have any problems doing so please get in touch and we’ll try our best to help.
  • If you would like us to retweet your posts (which we would love to do) please tweet them to @2ndtimeMama and @MotherUnnatural using #PostsFromTheHeart.
  • It would be lovely if you’d like to retweet any posts you’ve particularly enjoyed, though there is no obligation to do so.
  • If you decide to sign up we’ll add you to our email list, and drop you a quick message to remind you when the Linky Opens (every Monday morning).

Remember, as Mrs Christmas likes to say ‘If you give extra kisses, you get extra love’, the more you put in the more you will get out.

Our Badge: (The one below still isn’t working properly but you can grab the one from the sidebar which seems to work fine)

Mummy Times Two

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Highlighted Posts From Posts From The Heart 20th March 2017

Our eleventh week of #PostsFromTheHeart contained another wonderful set of fantastic posts. They were a wonderful selection, which genuinely moved me. What always moves me equally though, is the amazing heartfelt comments, that so many of you take the time to write, both on our posts and on the posts of others. It means a lot.

Once again we had both some incredibly joyful, and some utter heartbreakers among our posts. It was a priveledge to read every one of them. It was lovely to see so many of our regular linkers return, and also to see lots of new writers join us.

There is no obligation at all to comment on this post but we would love it if you could sprinkle some extra love on one of our Highlighted Posts. You the linkers are what make this Linky such a pleasure to host and we want to make sure you all get as much out of it as possible.

This week’s highlighted posts were once again incredibly difficult to choose, but I think you will all agree that they are more than deserving of their place:

To Those Who Tut And Stare by Someone’s Mum was a post that particularly resonated with me. My grandma used to say that Kindness costs nothing, and she was right. It is not our responsibility to question (internally or externally) the parenting of others. Let’s support each other, rather than knock each other down. Take a read of Danielle’s brilliant post, she says it far better than I can.

A Ghost Of A Dress by Mum Making Lemonade is a beautiful post which shows an incredible generosity of spirit. It’s a post about life turning out very differently to how we expect, but also a post about giving something precious to ease the loss of someone else. It needs to be read.

Could You Change A Life? By Me, Annie Bee talks about stem cell donation and why it’s something we should all consider doing. After all, life is important. If you haven’t given it a thought before, why not read this fantastic post, it may well make you feel differently.



Our More Than Ordinary Life – Do You Have A Story To Share?

Do You Have A Story To Share? If so I would love to hear it!

I started blogging at Mummy Times Two after many nights of frantic googling. My second baby had lots of difficulties when he was born, and I was desperate for answers. Amidst a plethora of scary articles I came across a blog which gave me hope.

I had no idea at that point whether Number Two would get a diagnosis, and in many ways he remains a mystery (albeit a wonderful one). But I did know that I wanted to share our story, and provide a little corner of hope online. I’ve navigated the SEND world for a long time, firstly as a teacher and then secondly with Number One’s Autism diagnosis, but my second baby was the catalyst that made me want to talk more openly about our experiences.

Mummy Times Two was born out of that desire.

It is not a blog which shies away from the truth, or looks at the world through rose tinted glasses. But it is a blog which celebrates the reality of life with our children, their accomplishments and the strength of parents.

I would love to include the stories of more families, and if you have a blog to signpost families to it, and that is where the ‘Our More Than Ordinary Life’ series comes in. Starting in April, the series will run on a weekly basis every Friday. Each week it will feature a different family, who have navigated through difference – whether that be a physical disability, a learning difficulty, a social and emotional difficulty or a medical condition.

Whether the effect on your family is short term or long term, a new diagnosis (or the fear of one) can be a scary prospect.

I want those mummies sat late at night googling for answers to come across a ray of hope, to see that life goes on, and that although our lives may not be exactly ordinary that doesn’t mean they are worse.

If you have a story to tell, I would love you to be part of our new series. You don’t have to be a blogger to take part, and if you would like help to tell your story I am happy to give you assistance. You can make your identity public, or tell your story under a pseudonym.

It is you, my readers who encourage me every time you like or comment on my posts.

So this is me, encouraging you to share your stories, and to pay forward a little hope. If you would like to know more or are interested in taking part, please do get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.